Atheist Predation

A Web site named Eternal Earthbound Pets claims to offer a service for the pets of Christians who will be raptured. For a fee, these people (atheists) will come and get your pet and care for it in the event of your rapture to Heaven. Kind and caring, right?


Indifferent cats are indifferent.

These atheists are preying on credulous believers who have been convinced they’ll be whisked away to Heaven and are concerned for the safety of their pets. It’s akin to trading someone a nickel for their hundred dollar bill because you can convince the other person that metal is worth more than paper. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

I’m seriously upset at these people and would love nothing more than to have their customers victims’ money refunded in full with an accompanying written apology. One of the big problems I have with this con is that, as atheists, these people have no reason whatsoever to believe that anybody will ever be raptured and are therefore selling a service that they fully intend never to have to provide. That’s dishonest. I could probably sell crocosaurus insurance to someone gullible but I wouldn’t. You know why? Because I have ethics!

Look at the size of them snappers!

To make things worse, their FAQ page touts their morality:

Q: How can we trust that you’ll honor your service agreement, afterall, you ARE atheists.
A: Being an atheist does not mean we lack morals or ethics. It just means we don’t believe in God or gods. All of our representatives are normal folks who love and live for their family, are gainfully employed, and have friends of varying beliefs. Some of us are married to believers. Many of us volunteer our time at food banks, animal shelters, meals on wheels organizations, etc. We fully endorse the “Rule of Reciprocity”, also known as “The Golden Rule.” We just happen not to believe in God(s). Belief in God does not ensure righteousness, nor does non-belief imply immorality. Jesus understood this. Please reference Luke 10, re “The Good Samaritan.”


So, as moral and ethical atheists who believe in the Golden Rule, you not only endorse but personally practice taking people’s money for services you’ll never provide and preying on their insecurities and irrational beliefs? How nice of you. I’m sure that given the opportunity to be someone else’s victim you’d jump on it, right? Do you even know what the Golden Rule is?

Another big hole in your scheme is that not even the vast, overwhelming majority of Christians believe that the rapture will be occurring on the 21st of this month – or anytime in the next 10 years. Nearly every Christian knows that this numerological woo-woo is the raving of a mentally deficient individual and you know it. Since you know that, offering this service also means that your entire business model is based on a false premise and cannot be considered anything other than fraudulent.

Regardless of how transparent this scam is, they appear to have at least 250 victims so far. At $135 each, these assholes have collected $33,750 (not to mention that people with multiple pets will pay an additional $20 each). While I feel that the people who have paid for this service are idiots and undeserving of respect I have even less respect (read: none) for the atheists running this site.

I’ve got an idea for you guys: go fuck yourselves. I actually am a moral atheist with ethics. You’re giving atheists a bad name.

Go fuck thyself!



  1. Huh.

    I knew about this “service” a while ago, and I found it hilarious.

    Look, the fanatics that believe they’ll be raptured are usually the type of people that lobby to take away our rights, and they do it with glee. They DELIGHT in pissing in our face.  If they’re so stupid as to believe they’ll fly into the sky magically, then it’s their own stupidity biting them in their ass.

    Sure, it’s a scam, and I see your point. I guess, if push comes to shove, I’d side with you. If it came down to me whether to allow them to keep this “business” going or shut them down, I’d likely do the latter. Because, yes, deep down I know what they’re doing is wrong. But, another part of me gets the joke and delights in it.

    I don’t know if I made any sense.

    Oh, well. You know, to each his own.

  2. @In_Reason_I_Trust – Yeah, I think I just have a bug up my ass or something. It’s been pointed out to me that this is no different than any other insurance product out there and I can see that. But I think I’m approaching this from a view that the Rapturists (that’s what I’m calling them now) are mentally deficient people of whom we shouldn’t be taking advantage. Even though I know they’re not all retarded I’m going to stand by that.

  3. My campus atheist group sold “rapture insurance,” but we made sure to put a disclaimer that it offered no actual benefits and was just a fun way to get donations (a lawyer in our group made sure we put that disclaimer on there).