Billboards: Nothing’s Too Hard…

Billboards abound in Springfield bearing the words of the “Nothing’s Too Hard For God” campaign.


This guy needs help because he’s not god.

Well, duh! God’s supposed to be omnipotent! Are Christians the masters of pointing out the obvious or what? But what does this mean for people who aren’t omnipotent? It’s almost like a slap in the face.

Having financial troubles? If you were god you’d be able to blink them away. BUT YOU’RE NOT GOD!

Having marital problems? If you were god you’d be able to make yourself a new wife/husband. BUT YOU’RE NOT GOD!

Are you lonely? If you were god you’d be able to create some friends. BUT YOU’RE NOT GOD!


BWAHAHAHAHAA!!!!

Yep, that’s right. You are powerless to change your circumstances, you aren’t smart enough to handle your finances, and you aren’t good enough to maintain meaningful relationships. You’re dirt and unless you call on god to fix it for you, you’re totally screwed. So what are you waiting for? Get to praying!

The problem is, praying doesn’t really do anything. It might give you some time to quiet your mind and reflect on your situation but it’s not going to make your troubles magically disappear. It’s only after you’re done praying and get off your knees that something will actually get done. So get off your knees and get to work!

Again, I have to ask why these billboards are so incredibly sensible and allowable but something like this symbolizes a detestable oppression of cherished ideas:

 

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22 comments

  1. ‘He helps those who help themselves”, but sure I suppose it’s no problem for you to pull an idea without necessary context. So, I suppose meditation does nothing for people either.

  2. One of the most amazing things a human mind can do is choose to look at the same thing in different ways. Meaning, you chose to be sarcastic with this post, while someone else would say: Sure it’s obvious, but people who feel hopeless tends to forget about it, so maybe, just maybe, one of them might read it and think to themselves: ” You know what? It’s true: I can only try and whatever happens happens. ” And then maybe they’ll feel slightly better. Just enough to push them do better in life.

    And that’s what praying does. 

  3. @striemmy – “God helps those who help themselves” isn’t from the Bible or any official doctrine. What necessary context do I need in order to evaluate that?

    My evaluation of the effectiveness of prayer took into account the calming and mind-quieting benefits of meditation. I said that’s probably a benefit but that it doesn’t get anything done.

  4. @nov_way – I’m not sure I get what you’re saying. Are you saying that people who would normally pray and ask god for help will forget about god when they feel hopeless? Are you saying a billboard will remind them that no matter what they do, whatever will happen will happen? And that’s supposed to make a hopeless person feel better? I don’t get it. Please help me understand.

  5. @CoderHead – We’ll pretend for a moment that you participated in any sort of english course where you had to analyze literature for themes. So tell me a common theme of the Old Testament. 

    No one asked about quieting and calming. That isn’t the only purpose meditation takes on. Are you intentionally coming up short because the functionality of meditation would put a hole in your argument or are you actually ignorant?

  6. The xtian hypocrisy is astounding. They want their cake and they want to eat it too.

    You still talking to striemmy? *shakes head*  Have fun! The pompous, arrogant, self-aggrandizing tone of his comments make me laugh, and also makes me nauseous. That dude worships himself, it’s really pathetic. I was gonna say he should marry bryangoodrich. But, two self-absorbed narcissistic asholes couldn’t possibly get married. They can only love themselves. LOL!

  7. @striemmy – You do realize you just quoted Benjamin Franklin, a deist, right?

    (In other words a person who does not believe in a god that is involved in day to day affairs.)

    That’s commonly mistaken for a bible quote but it’s actually from Poor Richards Almanac.

    I guess the American civil religion isn’t all that bad. 

  8. @CoderHead – I sure hope that you actually didn’t get what I said. And if that’s the case then, I’m sure you’ll discard whatever it is that I have to say anyway. Then again, I really don’t have anything to say about this anymore. 

    Have a pleasant evening.

  9. @CoderHead – I made my point. You kind of glazed over it with a dull look in your eyes and some spittle dribbling from one side of your mouth as you muttered “derrrrrp”. 

    If I use a quote, it’s not necessary for the quote to originate from the source material for it to be an accurate interpretation or relevant piece of information to the source material… you know.. because yelling “fire” in a crowded movie theater isn’t in the bill of rights, derrrrrp. So, when I say “He helps those who help themselves” and you give me the dull cow eyes and point at the bible and say “Derrrp, that’s not in there” you should expect to be talked down to. You pulled an idea of the omnipotence of god as offensive without the necessary context of scenarios in which he exercises that omnipotence and with no attention towards personal responsibility, which I think is overwhelmingly present in the bible. A flood coming to kill everyone you know and love? Build a boat and stop bitching. Your town being razed to the ground for debauchery? Run far away and stop bitching. Your people being oppressed? Lead them away from the source of their oppression and stop bitching. In most sects of Christianity your entire stake in heaven is based solely on your actions in accordance with, or deviating from, the rules laid down. Wanna get into heaven? Do the right thing and stop bitching. 
    That said, you haven’t even bothered to take a look at the additional benefits of the alternate position. Still no word on meditation from you, huh?

  10. @striemmy – Gosh, I guess I didn’t really think of how every time something has ever happened in the history of humankind it was because somebody got off their asses and did it. Thanks for setting me straight. I guess I’ll stop advocating sitting on your knees and talking to yourself. How could I have been so blind? If that’s a common theme in the Bible, then my original point is made even more valid. Are you just trying to be a douche?

    As for meditation, I already stated the benefit is quieting the mind. What other possible benefit did you have in mind, levitation? Communion with deceased ancestors? Invisibility? You can sit back and be as vague as you want and you’ll never actually make a point. If that’s your goal, congratulations. What else have you got?

  11. @CoderHead – Your post would only be valid if 1) there was a presupposition that there’s supposedly some divine intervention occurring for mundane problems in the current era. There isn’t. 2) That secular people don’t perform the same action but to actual people and without the ritualized posture and wording. They do. Do you need me to break that down into kindergarten-esque sub-ideas too? Also, you’re missing the point. I don’t know if it’s intentional or if there’s something seriously wrong here but let me break it down to you. A common saying with baptists is “all things are possible through christ” or “I can do all things through christ who strengthens me”. Are you getting a little clearer on why that billboard makes sense or do I have to break it down some more? The point is the way in which people use their faith, their belief, their prayer, to initiate or bolster their actions, if we’re discussing from a secular point of view. If you can’t see that as a useful technique for actualization, a means to an end, then I have a serious issue with your lack of comprehension. 

    Do your own goddamn legwork. What kind of a skeptic are you? You posit claims and have done 0 research on the subject. How about increased brain activity on all wavelengths to start with? Enhanced creativity, reduced stress, reduced activity in the fear centers of the brain. Is any of this sounding a little like conditions conducive to problem solving to you or are you glazed over again? How about the fact that a type of prayer practiced by Franciscan nuns called “centering” triggers similar brain responses. Do a freakin google search before you talk. It’s not that difficult. It takes less than 60 seconds and you wouldn’t sound so bloody ignorant demanding information that would be readily available to you, were you not so lazy. It’s easy to take pop shots at an enormous institution like religion and gaining support for doing so, even when you’re talking nonsense, simply because people agree with things that agree with their own personal views. How about some good, clean, rational examination of the facts present. You know, the ones you didn’t bother to look up. 

  12. @striemmy – Not all Christians share your view. Overwhelming numbers believe god is still working in the world today and intervening on their behalf. If you don’t believe that, I don’t give a shit and I don’t have to. You’re not the one who put up the billboard.

    I know that prayer, meditation and ritual are supposed to bolster action but they don’t matter until action is actually taken. All the praying in the world won’t get you anywhere unless you get off your damn knees. Argue that.

    What conceivable difference is there between me saying that meditation is like a timeout (you use the word “centering”) and you saying that meditation reduces stress and enhances creativity? It’s the same thing. And you keep making it seem as though I’ve said meditation is useless when I haven’t. I already posited benefits from the practice. I even went so far as to relate those same benefits to prayer – a pretty generous concession, I’d say.

    The fact that the billboards say “nothing is too hard for god” is the real issue here and you’ve effectively sidetracked the whole thing. You just said that you don’t believe god is actually using divine intervention, so put that into the context of the above statement. If nothing is too hard for god and god isn’t working in the world, then you’re on your own. That being the case, the billboard is bullshit and you have to solve your own problems.

  13. @CoderHead – I think you suffer from short sightedness. Would an omnipotent omniscient being have to be actively involved to enact certain circumstances in a person’s life in a system they created? If I create a miraculously elaborate mouse trap that ensnares the creature and then lets it go, have I just performed an act of kindness actively or did I simply design a system and then let it work? Do the words “God has a plan for you” ring a bell? Great design? Omniscience? Is this just flying over your head? 

    Oh, that’s an easy one. Action without prior thought or evaluation is just as useless as thought without action. Going to attack a problem that you have no ideas on how to go at will leave you looking as though you performed no action at all. Then again, maybe you’re right. Maybe thinking before you act isn’t a necessary step to intelligent behavior. Let’s tell all of the scientists and military advisors across the world right now! Don’t look before you leap because Coderhead said so!

    I used the word centering because that’s what that type of prayer is specifically called. No, you said one benefit. You said a quiet mind. You can get a quiet mind from having an orgasm. You don’t need to sit around staring at flames or chanting to make that happen. Why don’t you go back and look at what you wrote? You want to come back around and speak as though you listed all of these wonderful benefits out or that they simply come with the territory of having a calm mind. Horse shit. Number 1, you mentioned it twice and both times you said “benefit” meaning single, alone, non-plural. Number 2, you can have a calm mind without having those other perks. The brain wave elevation alone is out of the ordinary for normal values of a conscious or dreaming human being on all wavelengths. You’re full of it. “It’s the same thing.” Your’e full of shit on this one and that’s just about a scientific certainty. They are not the same thing. You did not mention them and you definitely tried to play it off like prayer/ meditation are ineffectual methods of combating problems. Oh, and way to stab yourself in the foot, putting this paragraph after your little outburst about action. Oh, and I thought of another example. Non-violent protests. Oh man, look how ineffective those have been in history. Geez Ghandi. 

    ‘As for meditation, I already stated the benefit is quieting the mind. What other possible benefit did you have in mind, levitation? Communion with deceased ancestors? Invisibility? ” 

    ” I guess I’ll stop advocating sitting on your knees and talking to yourself.”

    Conceding a fact isn’t a concession you dipstick. Like I said, the data is already in on the similar brain wave affects certain types of prayer have that are well comparable to meditation. You conceding means nothing. Facts speak for themselves. Your ‘generosity’ is noted and filed under horse shit. 

    Again suffering from chronic short sightedness. An omniscient, omnipotent being has a plan for my life. A plan for me to get through all of the things that I go through from the beginning of my life to the end of my life, the end goal probably not be revealed until sometime around 3/4 of the way through. Again, creating a system means that one doesn’t have to directly interact, or even know of a unique incident for it to be resolved. If nothing is too hard for god, then that certainly includes forseeing a problem that will arise in your life, creating a solution within the system and making it accessible to you so that you retain your free will in the matter. You’d think that in the age of computers, people would be able to understand something as basic programming. Does my virus program respond to each individual incident of infection by generating a completely unique solution? Of course not. It downloads virus definitions so that when it comes across problems meeting those general guidelines it has options on how to resolve the issue. Does the FAQ section of any given site cater to my personal needs in access and using? No, but certain problems have arisen before and in sufficient quantity for them to generate such a page because these problems are of the same type and can be resolved in the same way without anyone’s direct action. This is all pretty simple stuff, even for beings of our relatively limited average intellect. Now, for someone omniscient, or approaching omniscience, I’d like to think they could handle some basic programming. 

  14. @striemmy – Hilarious that you compare god to the maker of a mouse trap. Your analogy fails, though, because the mouse trap maker you’re describing isn’t the mouse trap maker being sold on the billboard by the Assemblies of God. Since you’ve completely failed – yet again – to actually address the substance of my post I’ll try to steer you back on course one last time.

    The billboard doesn’t say “increase your brain activity and solve the problem yourself” so your meditation argument is tangential and irrelevant. I don’t care about meditation within the confines of this discussion and this is why: most Christians don’t enter a meditative state when they pray. It’s more akin to reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. You introduced meditation and then tried to make it a major point of contention in this discussion as though it even had anything to do with the billboard at all. It doesn’t.

    The billboard, just in case you missed it, says, “Nothing’s too hard for god.” The AoG posits that god is working in the world today using divine intervention spurred by intercessory prayer. I don’t care – nor do I have to – that you don’t think that’s the case. Once again, you didn’t make the billboard. Therefore your opinion is irrelevant.

    I’ve been saying the whole time that prayer without action is ineffective. You just brought up non-violent protests as an example of how I shot myself in the foot? Protests are action! Protests are not just sitting on your ass talking to yourself, they’re taking a grievance to the source and presenting an outward display of defiance in order to enact change. You’re just typing random nonsense.

    Funny again that you compare god’s plan to an FAQ page. That’s an example of direct, decisive action. The FAQ page didn’t pop into existence on its own – someone saw the need and created it after the need was identified. Whether or not you use the FAQ page, someone created it in response to a specific need. In addition, that FAQ page will grow and change as different needs are identified. That’s action. What about this do you not understand? The computer virus is probably the better of your analogies since it only has to be written and propagated and then becomes hands-off. It’s still funny that you would compare god’s plan to a computer virus.

    The last time I told you I was tired of reading your inane crap on my blog I didn’t go so far as to block you. I usually don’t do that. However, after multiple encounters with you it’s clear that you know just how to irritate me and I’m pretty sure I’ll be adding you to a list now. You ignore the content of my post in order to argue your own personal bullshit and insult me because I don’t know what the hell you’re on about. That’s not how I want to run my blog. Good day.

  15. @CoderHead – Before I thoroughly go in on you, which will have to wait until I’m done with my activities for the day, I’ll remind you of something because it appears that you forgotten. The billboard doesn’t explicitly say anything but “nothing’s too hard for god”. So, at least if I’m applying some context, mine makes sense within the framework of current religious and scientific explanation. Yours is kind of out of your ass.

    Actually, some protests involve nothing more than prayer, the location of which is irrelevant. Do your research.

    Oh, and don’t be an idiot. A computer program sufficiently well-programmed to detect and compare instances of questions asked and answered could compile and update an FAQ page without any assistance. 
    Suck it easy, and all that jazz

  16. @striemmy – The billboard is accompanied by a Web site – which I linked – and the entire doctrinal system of the Assemblies of God institution. My context isn’t out of my ass, it’s within the context of the creators of the fucking billboard. Like you told me earlier, do some goddamn legwork.

    Again, you’re sidetracking with protests. It’s irrelevant! It doesn’t matter that your example of protest is a prayer — it matters that it’s a protest. That’s action, not inaction.

    Who’s the idiot? A computer program would have to be deliberately written in order to compile and update an FAQ page in response to a specific need. I know this as a programmer. No code that exists today is sufficiently autonomous that it can detect human needs and proactively respond by generating content relevant to solving those needs. Once again, your analogy fails and you’re too emotionally charged to see it.

    Here’s the deal: you can go fuck yourself and you don’t get to comment on my blog anymore.